The Complexities of Choral Speaking

Oh help... That particular time of the year
Has inevitably arrived -
It's Choral Speaking time again.

Choral Speaking?
A certain aura of panic surrounds
The usually stable choral speakers
The very word
Sends chills down our spines.

Librarians in the city
Are naturally mystified
Over the sudden popularity
Of their poetry books
As we comb and rummage
Through them in our zeal.

After days and days
Of searching, reading and rejecting poems,
We come to the conclusion
That no one has yet to produce
A poem striking enough
To suit our sophisticated tastes.

Having no alternatives,
We turn to our class' budding writers
And beg, cajole and even threaten them
To produce a top notch poem
In exactly 24 hours,
No matter how empty or void
They claim their heads to be.

Having secured our Tennysons and Kiplings,
We now struggle to choose a prize winning topic.
"What shall we speak on this year?"
"Nothing"
"I know, our PTA school hall project!"
"Uh-ah" "World War Three?"
"How about banning Choral Speaking forever!"

Finally,
After many hours of brain wracking
And hair tearing sessions,
Our self-proclaimed geniuses
Complete their royal assignment

But, the heartache is far from over
As up crops a totally new problem -
How exactly do we pronounce
All these lip twising
Tongue rolling
And mind boggling words?

Everyone has their own version
Of how the poem should be recited
"...this way...."
"...no, that way..."
Insults are thrown
Egos are bashed
Reducing our poor Choral Speakers
Into nothing but "Quarrel" speakers

Amidst the catastrophe
A star is born - our conductor.
See her face twist
See her hands fly here and there.
She calms our frayed nerves
And reassures us that
We do not sound as terrible
As everyone says we do.

Yet, it is she who tortures us
With countless hours of practice
Turning our lovely, harmonious voices
Into miserable, pathetic croaks.
After what seems to be
An eternity of voice projection,
We are forced to go on stage.

Behind the shaking knees,
Cold fingers and chattering teeth,
One comforting thought
Remains in our hearts -
For we know that
If we never pull through to the finals,
The 40 of us overworked, under-praised
Angels in Bata and Canggih shoes
Need never, ever go through
The complexities of Choral Speaking again.

Hi.

Tajuk tu aku petik daripada text di atas, yang panjang melebar tu. Aku dalam mood yang stress. Tension. Bulan July kena pergi Subang Parade perform Choral Speaking, as usual. Dah biasa dah. Naik bas apa semua kaaaan alah *pernah sekali je ni. Bajet macam dah pernah pergi berjuta kali. Huk elaaah :o

Well, aku kena hafal text yang panjang melebar kat atas tu. Memang taaaak ah. Dah ah panjang, bahasa english. Nak sebut pun tah pape. Masa yang diberi 18 hari je! Saya ulang, 18 hari je! After cuti, kena practise face reaction and blablabla. Macam biasa.

And yeah, bukan tu je. Theres another text we have to memorize. "The Pleasure Of Being Fat". I know its not too long but kena ingat jugak, masa yang diberi cuma 18 hari. Or else, akan menyusahkan another Choral Speakers yang dah hafal. Kang kena cut untuk beri masa ke aku. Aku dah lah belum bayar costume. RM 25 each. Ramai lagi tak bayar, nasib baik.

Um, aku nak hafal bye.

The Complexities of Choral Speaking

Oh help... That particular time of the year
Has inevitably arrived -
It's Choral Speaking time again.

Choral Speaking?
A certain aura of panic surrounds
The usually stable choral speakers
The very word
Sends chills down our spines.

Librarians in the city
Are naturally mystified
Over the sudden popularity
Of their poetry books
As we comb and rummage
Through them in our zeal.

After days and days
Of searching, reading and rejecting poems,
We come to the conclusion
That no one has yet to produce
A poem striking enough
To suit our sophisticated tastes.

Having no alternatives,
We turn to our class' budding writers
And beg, cajole and even threaten them
To produce a top notch poem
In exactly 24 hours,
No matter how empty or void
They claim their heads to be.

Having secured our Tennysons and Kiplings,
We now struggle to choose a prize winning topic.
"What shall we speak on this year?"
"Nothing"
"I know, our PTA school hall project!"
"Uh-ah" "World War Three?"
"How about banning Choral Speaking forever!"

Finally,
After many hours of brain wracking
And hair tearing sessions,
Our self-proclaimed geniuses
Complete their royal assignment

But, the heartache is far from over
As up crops a totally new problem -
How exactly do we pronounce
All these lip twising
Tongue rolling
And mind boggling words?

Everyone has their own version
Of how the poem should be recited
"...this way...."
"...no, that way..."
Insults are thrown
Egos are bashed
Reducing our poor Choral Speakers
Into nothing but "Quarrel" speakers

Amidst the catastrophe
A star is born - our conductor.
See her face twist
See her hands fly here and there.
She calms our frayed nerves
And reassures us that
We do not sound as terrible
As everyone says we do.

Yet, it is she who tortures us
With countless hours of practice
Turning our lovely, harmonious voices
Into miserable, pathetic croaks.
After what seems to be
An eternity of voice projection,
We are forced to go on stage.

Behind the shaking knees,
Cold fingers and chattering teeth,
One comforting thought
Remains in our hearts -
For we know that
If we never pull through to the finals,
The 40 of us overworked, under-praised
Angels in Bata and Canggih shoes
Need never, ever go through
The complexities of Choral Speaking again.

Hi.

Tajuk tu aku petik daripada text di atas, yang panjang melebar tu. Aku dalam mood yang stress. Tension. Bulan July kena pergi Subang Parade perform Choral Speaking, as usual. Dah biasa dah. Naik bas apa semua kaaaan alah *pernah sekali je ni. Bajet macam dah pernah pergi berjuta kali. Huk elaaah :o

Well, aku kena hafal text yang panjang melebar kat atas tu. Memang taaaak ah. Dah ah panjang, bahasa english. Nak sebut pun tah pape. Masa yang diberi 18 hari je! Saya ulang, 18 hari je! After cuti, kena practise face reaction and blablabla. Macam biasa.

And yeah, bukan tu je. Theres another text we have to memorize. "The Pleasure Of Being Fat". I know its not too long but kena ingat jugak, masa yang diberi cuma 18 hari. Or else, akan menyusahkan another Choral Speakers yang dah hafal. Kang kena cut untuk beri masa ke aku. Aku dah lah belum bayar costume. RM 25 each. Ramai lagi tak bayar, nasib baik.

Um, aku nak hafal bye.